Exciting Products in Development

Prototypes now on view in Early Clues Showrooms

Lubbock, Quebec — Peaster is the traditional date Early Clues, LLC solemnly reveals the exciting products that will be made available for purchase. We admit, we are a little late.

Each of our products will be pre-loaded with “soft-ware” and a “screen”.

Our state of the art plastic gadgets have come in. We are currently up-loading our fantastic OpenQNL to each and every one! Each piece of plastic and in some cases, multiple specimens of plastic that is move-able in order to dictate the direction the limited uses will have a lifetime that will expire within one to two cycles. Eight (8) D batteries will be required for each of our applications stored upon this vast array of machinery we will be rushing to market sometime during the 4-Mas celebrations.

Unique Tasks Delegated to Each Device

As you examine the devices to be delivered in every conveniently located showroom near you, you will note that the price-point is fair and transparent. Each device will be free of operation upon purchase. Instructions for use (operation), however, will be included. Such as the doors to the springs in which the user will insert the eight (8) D batteries to achieve operating specifications. We feel this to be a breakthrough and added benefit in owning the notion that no one knows shit. Early Clues, LLC based out of the Tri Cities area OWNS this. Early Clues will never back down from not knowing shit.

What Early Clues Does Know

Here is where our engineers can help. Like you and our engineers, there is no “truth”. There is no anything. Just you and our (your) devices that require batteries which hold more electrical current than anything your great grandfather had on hand. But, the power needed for the devices depletes over a span of time depending upon the batteries depending upon the design. There are many varieties. Each with an improving pitch as to how much better they are.

There is AAA

There is AA

There is A

There is C

There is CC

There is D

None of that shit we have listed above will run our shit.

But, if you can find one, the local radio shack used to be about radios and shit.

The showrooms will be open but we cannot promise the “energy” to have the fun Early Clues wishes to provide in this upcoming busy season of 1982.